The Rise and Fall of Dating Apps: Why We Don’t Want to Lose a Relation, But We Can Keep Going, So We Can’t Go Back
In her book, addiction by Design, an anthropologist describes the different technological mechanisms that casinos use to keep people from gambling. All of it embodies strategic calculation from the architecture of buildings to the design of casino carpets. The components of the modern gambling experience are interrelated, and come together to create a single experience, in order to maximize time on device.
Sound familiar? Schll thinks so as well. She says that there is a similar mechanism to be found in dating apps. “Swiping left and right—it’s almost like a horizontal slot machine. You really don’t know what you’re going to get.”
Although Schüll doesn’t think these similarities are limited to just dating apps (she mentions the stock-trading app Robinhood), she does believe they all share one thing in common: strategies to hold users in place and reduce friction. When friction enters the picture, what does it mean? When users spend less time in the “hold” and less energy on the machine?
One thing about dating apps that people are tired of? Paying for their services. Growth in the number of users who pay for premium dating app services is starting to slow.
WIRED went looking for love and found that modern romance is a web of scams, AI boyfriends, and Tinder burnout. But a smarter, more human, and more pleasure-filled future is possible.
Another cause attributed to this decline is the dating app exodus, which occurred after a spike in usage during the pandemic, as many young users are now seeking more “real-world” connections. And of course there’s that age-old tedium: boredom.
“In design, they’re constantly upping the ante—if there’s a video poker machine, then there’ll be triple video poker, and then it’s 10-play video poker, 100-play video poker,” Schüll says. “When you move to the next one, you sort of can’t go back. It’s a tolerance effect. Maybe these apps couldn’t take it to the next level, because they exhausted the ability to hold people to a certain point.
Uncanny Valley Podcast 14: Are Dating Apps Getting Worse? — Lauren and I are going to a friend’s house
Michael Calore is a person. We had already celebrated. In the past, we’ve traveled a few times, and that felt right since we were able to sidestep the craziness of reservations and make ourselves at home. So we’re doing the same thing actually, we’re going to a friend’s house and we’re having a meal in. Lauren, what are you up to?
The person is Zo Schiffer. We aren’t very good at either remembering or celebrating the holiday. For our anniversary we have never once, not once, remembered that it existed. This year, we’re going to a friend’s house and we’re going to have a kid-free dinner—which honestly, nothing is more romantic to me than an evening without my children, as much as I love them. What are you thinking, Mike? What are you going to do?
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Source: Are Dating Apps Getting Worse?
Bluesky at Snackfight, Lauren Goode at Threads @reporterzoe, and M. Calore at Wired
You can follow Michael Calore on Bluesky at @snackfight, Lauren Goode on Bluesky at @laurengoode, and Zoë Schiffer on Threads @reporterzoe. Send information to us at www.wired.com.
